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Useless superpowers

by Graneepi - 20 Aug 2019, 02:07 PM in Forum Games
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Graneepi
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Posted: 20 Aug 2019, 02:07 PM
I'm bored and shitposting here is fruitless so *puts on joker mask* let's play a game

Name a useless superpower,
Others have to somehow make it useful.

I'll start with an easy one: Infinite urine
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Abiicias
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Posted: 20 Aug 2019, 04:29 PM
The power of urine is quite powerful in the right hands. By being able to constantly pee, you have an infinite source of potassium nitrate which is 3/4 of the required ingredients to make gunpowder. In the hands of a an individual who has chemical understandings, not only would they be able to have an infinite supply of gunpowder, but the amount of medical properties as well. These include things such as sterilization, increasing ones immune system, treating infertility, and “urine therapy.” We could go even further into its waste proprieties as it can fuel generators, engines, and more. While not necessarily “super” the large supply could make a powerful hero who helps provide treatments, or a powerful villain who can disrupt the foundations society sits on today.

Useless Power: Able to erode only yourself. But it takes 1-Day to erode a finger’s length and even longer to regenerate it.
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Posted: 20 Aug 2019, 10:12 PM
Wow a thread that I don't immediately wanna purge :o progress!

You'd be the world's best emergency firefighter I guess.

And in Abii's case u can perform the slowest ever suicide by eroding yourself to death over a lengthy period of time Thonk
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Lao
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Posted: 21 Aug 2019, 03:27 AM
Infinite pee? That's an amazing superpower, you could pee on a turbine and have a free infinite power source. And if you're a gamer girl you can even sell all the leftover pee.

Being able to hold in pee forever - now that's a useless superpower.
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linkthehylian
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Posted: 21 Aug 2019, 07:10 AM
A useless superpower, huh ?

Being able to sleep whenever and wherever.

I have difficulties sleeping whenever I'm not home. Like, whenever friends invite me over to their place I try to sleep but I just can't. And then I have to act like I got a decent amount of sleep.
LNON>initiating_systems

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Abiicias
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Posted: 22 Aug 2019, 07:19 AM
The only way I can think of this being useful in a general situation would be maintaining the perfect amount of rest daily which can theoretically make you seem superhuman if you worked in most jobs. It’s not uncommon the topic of “I couldn’t sleep” comes up and coworkers describe how they can’t work properly because of exhaustion. But then you show up and snag all the major job opportunities because you’re fresh and ready to go while everyone else is dragging their feet. A literal dynamo.

Useless Power: Never needing to blink to rehydrate your eyes.
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Lao
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Posted: 16 Sep 2019, 01:07 PM
Super useful when you're running away from SCP-173. Also you never have your eyes closed on pictures, so that's nice.
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates.
Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Graneepi
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Posted: 18 Sep 2019, 08:00 AM
(22 Aug 2019, 07:19 AM)Abiicias Wrote: Never needing to blink to rehydrate your eyes.

u automatically win every staring contest and make a great security camera on the town square

Soopapowaa: ability to turn into a tree at any moment Aww
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